What’s Your Destiny? You Decide!

Have you ever felt stuck after a less than successful performance?  Why did this happen?  Again!  What about that audition that didn’t go the way you expected?  We often focus on the fact that the performance didn’t go well instead of focusing on what we can change to make a difference next time.  On the flip side, have you ever found it difficult to get up and going after a successful performance?  After an incredible high when you performed exactly as you planned and it felt great, is it difficult for you to move on to something new?  We think that we better live up to this performance and all the hype of our reputation or the expectations for the next time.

A good thing to remember is that we are not our past.  There, I said it!  What a relief!  Let’s all repeat aloud:  I am not my past.   Many of us let yesterday use up way too much of today.  Don’t let yesterday’s events or today’s fears keep you from being the performer you know you can be.  Your biography is not your destiny. 

Many performers believe that they are their past.  How many times have you heard, “You’re only as good as your last performance.”?  We often believe that who we are and who we will become, has already been decided by our past.  For example, if you’ve not been satisfied with your performing, you are destined to struggle in the future; if you have been successful in your youth, you are destined for greatness; if you’ve struggled with performance anxiety, doubts, or worrying too much what others are thinking, these will be your shortcomings for years to come.

The truth is—your past does not dictate your future.  The past is often a predictor of the future because we often don’t reflect on what happened and decide to do anything differently next time.  We have been given the ultimate power—the power of decision and choice.  You control who you are and who you will become by the decisions and actions you take TODAY.

Your biography is not your destiny—your decisions are!  —Tony Robbins

If your destiny is determined by the decisions you make, what decisions are we talking about?  What decisions do you need to make?  The first and foremost decision is:

Where is my focus?

As a performer, it’s a good idea to ask yourself:  Where is my focus?  To what is my attention drawn?  Do I focus on impressing others?  Am I focusing on the need to be perfect or at least better than the next performer?  Is my focus on that mistake I made on the previous page?  Is my focus on my fear or doubt about a piece or my performing in general?  After you determine your present focus, ask:

What am I going to focus on?

Deciding to focus on continuing to grow and improving your abilities and skills is a very important decision for performers.  This decision involves identifying that it will take effort and effective strategies in order to execute your skills freely and perform in an expressive manner.  Continuing to focus on the outcome of your performances, or on what others might be thinking, on whether you can or cannot perform perfectly, or on how anxious you sometimes become is going to be unsatisfying at best.  At the worst, this focus is going to lead to continued frustration, discouragement, and often feelings of anxiety, fear, and failure.   Deciding where and what you are going to focus on is your first and primary question.  Your answers to this question is the first step you take to change your destiny.

The next time you are feeling stuck or unsatisfied with your singing or playing, remind yourself that you are not your biography.  You can examine the effort you are putting in, the strategies you are choosing, the plans you make to implement those strategies, and the expertise at your disposal and make changes in any or all of these.   The decisions you make today will determine your path.   Remember, YOU decide.


Want to learn more about how to develop your own unique pre-performance routine and the most effective mindset?  Then, check out The Relaxed Musician Program:  Mental Preparation for Confident Performances, A 14-Day Plan   Download Day 1 workbook and audio to see how the program can work for you.  With purchase, you will receive 2 great bonuses—Your Pre-Performance Checklist and the e-book, Letting Go of the Need to be Perfect!

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